Why do we have information and resources pertaining to domestic violence on this website?  Marijke was killed in an active domestic violence situation. 

Our aim with this page is to spread knowledge of domestic abuse/violence.  Recognizing a problem is the first step in stamping it out. 

Please note that the links on this page run the entire gamut of domestic abuse and violence.  By having such a wide array of information on this page, Marijke's family is not in any way stating that all of these forms of abuse happened to her.  Instead, we feel that all of the information linked up on this page ought to be disseminated, so as to hopefully prevent anymore pain and violence from occuring.

News Report of Marijke's Death About Domestic Homicide: In the U.S., estimates from the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) are that more than three women a day are killed by their intimate partners. Women are killed by intimate partners more often than by another acquaintance or stranger. Most of domestic homicides are preceded by physical and/or psychological abuse. Information regarding: situations of domestic murder-suicide (i.e. what happened to Marijke), risk factors, prevention, helping the surviving family members cope, how social workers can help. Mind of an Abuser "Abusive people typically think they are unique, really so different from other people that they don't have to follow the same rules everyone else does. But rather than being unique, abusers have a lot in common with one another, including their patterns of thinking and behaving. The following are some of their characteristics." Symptoms of Emotional Abuse: "Emotional abuse always accompanies, and in most cases precedes, physical battering. Targeted, repeated emotional abuse can severely affect the victim's sense of self and of reality. Here is a list of emotionally abusive behaviors abusers use against their partners." Warning Signs/Symptoms of Abusive Relationships: "Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” He uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and gain complete power over you. He may threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence." Domestic Violence Warning Signs: "There is no way to tell for sure if someone is experiencing domestic violence. Those who are battered, and those who abuse, come in all personality types. Battered women are not always passive with low self-esteem, and batterers are not always violent or hateful to their partner in front of others. Most people experiencing relationship violence do not tell others what goes on at home. So how do you tell?" Effects of Domestic Violence on Children: "Abuse in a home creates an atmosphere of fear and pain, and puts a child's growth and emotional well-being at risk. When a woman is abused by her partner, children learn to equate love with pain, force with problem solving, and submission with peace-keeping." Children Exposed to Woman Abuse: A Canadian wesbite that contains excellent and concise information on the impact of children's exposure to woman abuse.  It further explores strategies for helping children cope with abuse, and strategies for improving parenting skills.  Note: The statistics on this site are Canadian, not American.  In the U.S., we see a much higher number of women killed by their husband or partner, for example. Why Women Stay: "One of the most frustrating things for people outside a battering relationship is trying to understand why a woman doesn't just leave. A letter to Dear Abby on the subject was signed 'Tired of Voluntary Victims.' The most important thing to keep in mind is that extreme emotional abuse is always present in domestic violence situations. On average, an abused woman will leave her partner 6-8 times. The reasons they return or stay in the relationship vary from case to case. Some of these include..." National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: "The Mission of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) is to organize for collective power by advancing transformative work, thinking, and leadership of communities and individuals working to end the violence in our lives." National Domestic Violence Hotline: "Until the violence stops, the hotline will continue to answer…One Call at a Time. Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands." State-by-State Legal Information & Resources: "The Mission of WomensLaw.org is to provide easy-to-understand legal information and resources to women living with or escaping domestic violence. By reaching out through the Internet, they empower women and girls to lead independent lives, free from abuse." Safe Journey (NY): A generous donation was made in Marijke's name to Safe Journey, a domestic violence resource in Fairport, NY.  Safe Journey provides transition services to women and children leaving domestic violence situations.  All of their services are free and confidential, and they exist solely due to grants and public support.  Yoga for Domestic Violence (MD): On November 10, 2007, fifty people gathered at the Yoga Center of Columbia, MD to perform 108 sun salutations in order to raise money for the Domestic Violence Center in Howard County, MD.  This link is to the Domestic Violence Center in MD, which provides support services for people in, or coming out of, domestic violence situations.  Their mission is to "reduce the harm and effects of domestic violence in the country, while working toward its elimination." Heartly House, Frederick County, MD: "Heartly House serves Frederick County residents who have been impacted by domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse.  Heartly House has been providing comprehensive services for more than 27 years. Services include: a 24-hour hotline, emergency shelter,  individual and group counseling, victim advocate services and legal representation, medical advocacy services for victims of sexual assault, abuser intervention groups, transitional housing, and community outreach and professional education."  Help Victims of Violence: Witness Justice's mission is: "To empower and assist victims of violence and their loved ones in healing from trauma and in navigating the criminal justice process." We can all support this group, and the good work that it does-- even without spending any money.  For example, if you use Yahoo!-powered www.Goodsearch.com, which operates just like any other search engine, revenues from its advertising will go to Witness Justice.  For more information on this group, the work it does, and how to support its efforts, you can follow this link. Remember My Name Project "The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), in conjunction with Ms. Magazine, started this project in 1994 to create a national registry of names to increase public awareness of domestic violence deaths. Since then, NCADV has continued to collect information on incidents of women who have been killed by an intimate partner and produces a poster each year for Domestic Violence Awareness Month listing the names of those submitted. We are hoping to create as complete a registry as possible of women who have lost their lives due to domestic violence." Brooke, Marijke's cousin, is working on adding Marijke's name to their database. Click to Empower "For every click received, $1 will be donated by the Allstate Foundation to the Educational & Job Training Assistance Fund with a total donation up to $300,000.  For many domestic violence survivors, economic empowerment is critical to their long term self-sufficiency. The Education and Job Training Assistance Fund enables survivors to pursue long-term financial security by providing much needed financial assistance for education, training and job-related expenses such as books and supplies for school, tuition and registration fees. "

 If you wish to see an additional link on this page, please email it to: twinswebsite@hotmail.com.